When I decided to home school, I was not met with much support. Many people had the idea that this direction in life was too risky. They thought I was putting my children into some experiment that would result in them being different from their peer group.
It wasn’t viewed as I saw it. It was frowned upon as a negative, and I was warping them for life. I could always tell when the conversation was drifting that way.
“Do they have friends?”
“Can they read?”
“Are you a teacher?”
There was always this undercurrent of judgment that I was going against the natural order of things, which must have meant a disaster was coming on the horizon.
An older man said to me,
“So you will have them miss out on dating football players?”
He was serious.
Out of all the questions about their academia and overall well-being, he was concerned that there wouldn’t be an opportunity for them to go out with a hormone-enraged teenage boy who had no stability to offer.
How could I be so irresponsible, manipulating my daughters’ futures like this?
My girls were 14 and 17 at the time.
“I guess so,” I said. “I have decided to let them bypass that one.”
He shook his head and clicked his tongue at me like I was an absolute lunatic.
I wonder where all those football players are now? At the chiropractor, getting an adjustment, scheduling an MRI, and paying child support.
I knew right from the start that what I was doing was not accepted by the general public. So much so that I threw myself into every single activity that came our way.
I helped start a co-op at a church I was attending. I came up with a name, and we printed off tee shirts, so every time we met or went somewhere, the kids and parents had on something that represented to the public we were not hiding behind closed doors.
I planned field trips, wrote out a monthly newsletter, and taught weekly gym classes to all the kids from kindergarten on up.
And we fit in school. Sometimes in the car on the way to whatever we were doing for that day.
While cleaning, I found an old yearbook that I had helped put together back then.
“This is where I spit into the bushes,” I said, paging through it, reminiscing.
We took the kids to a farm not too far from my house. It’s been converted into a historical working site that allows visitors to see how it was run in the 1800s. The man who was the original owner learned by reading everything out of various books and experimenting with crops and irrigation. He didn’t come from a lineage of farmers. He was just a guy who knew he could be a success at something without any experience by applying his knowledge. He was driven by learning something new despite the naysayers.
Similar to homeschooling.
During each season, they did different activities so the kids could get an idea of what life was like during a long-gone period.
In the fall, they were shown how sorghum(sugar) was pressed out of plants, and they were allowed to do this by turning a wooden handle on an old-looking machine. In the spring, they participated in planting by walking behind two oxen as a plow sliced through the soil.
From whatever year we had teleported ourselves back into, the instructors were dressed in that attire. The homestead was preserved so we got to see where they lived and how the indoor work was done. They took the kids through the process of churning butter by hand and making homemade pickles.
I was handed one by an employee playing the part of one of the family members. No one wanted to sample them, and I wasn’t too excited to either, but I took it to be nice. I put it in my mouth but didn’t commit to chewing. I expected the usual salty dill taste of a vegetable that had been brined.
It was not even close to that. And as my eyes began to water, I wondered if these were a fresh batch or leftover from the actual 1800s. I could not fathom swallowing it, but I had no backup plan. No napkin. There was nowhere to get rid of it as she stayed in character, expounding on the fact that the recipe was ages old.
The second she freed us, I turned to go up the cellar stairs, but I got trapped behind other people. I silently prayed no one would speak to me as the juices from this rancid circular disc on my tongue slowly dripped down my throat.
Right outside the door was an enormous bush. This would be where I spit and spit until I had nothing left to give except for my DNA for historical purposes. As I was in the throes of it, I heard a little girl say,
“Those pickles looked gross!”
You have no idea, child.
It reminds me of this verse from Revelation 3:
I know your deeds that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked?’(NIV)
Chasing a high social status and keeping up false appearances that distract you from serving your true purpose can make one blind and deaf spiritually so that you become useless. It’s easy to believe that you are on the right track when you are surrounded by all that you have acquired. Yet, you and God can be distant.
God wants to use you in the capacity you have been born to fulfill. Material possessions and habitual living, like a comfort zone out of balance, can be stumbling blocks. It can hinder seeking and finding out why you are here.
I recall spitting out something else surprisingly disgusting on another occasion. My mom was in the middle of baking brownies from scratch. I walked by, saw a piece of chocolate, and popped it into my mouth.
“You will not like that,” she said, barely looking away from her measuring spoon.
“It’s unsweetened. It’s probably going to be….”
I heard the word “bitter” as I hung my whole face over the garbage, trying to get rid of it.
How can something that looked so great on the outside be so toxic on the inside?
For the next time you are in a heated trivia game, here are 11 signs of someone housing bitterness:
- They hold a grudge
- They are always complaining
- They are not grateful for the good in their life
- They want bad things to happen to others, so they stay superior
- Jealous of others who have good happening
- Can’t share in others’ joy
- Want the spotlight
- Highly cynical
- Quick to blame others for their problems
- Nothing positive to say about positive people
- Make sweeping assumptions
Why is this so destructive? Because it affects everyone around them negatively with a high potential to cause others to join in and fall away from God. It’s a pattern of behavior not easily broken, and it sucks the life out of life. But, it’s also low-level living and can be appealing because it doesn’t require any growth. Like being drug-addicted, this is easy to start and difficult to end. And misery loves company.
It’s explained in Hebrews 12:
Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears. (Message)
So how do we avoid getting lured in by the enticement and the world’s empty promises? Or the critical, sour voices that want to drag us down spiritually? You get quiet, ask for help, and this will follow:
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Psalm 34:8/NIV)
He will distance you from the people and things that keep you from your destiny.
This is promised in Psalm 91:
If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
“I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me, and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.”(Message)
Whether your problems are self-inflicted or not, heaven’s biggest desire is that you complete the work you were sent here to do. When you set your heart entirely on that, God will help you get out of any pickle.